Asking for what you want

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 Words have amazing power. Yes, that is a cliche. But sometimes, we realize it when someone else points it out to us. I was recently working with a coach, and after listening to me for a while, he said "Karthik, I had asked you about what you want, and instead you told me about quite a few things that you don't want."  

Now, the idea of focussing on what we want and not what we don't want , isn't new to me, but I wasn't aware of this tendency of mine. 


But now, that I became of it, I could see a lot more clearly that there are a million applications for it in the context of parenting ( and all relationships ) . 


Instead of saying "Don't yell", I now try to say "Speak softly"

Instead of saying "Don't spill the food", I now try to say "Pay attention to your plate while eating". 


My 4 year old becomes 'defensive', when we verbalize what we don't want.


Both my wife and me are trying to change our language patterns to ask for what we want . Try it out and let me know how it works for you. 

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