Adventures in Parenting

 It was dinner time, and it was one of those days. Our son refused to cooperate. I had to convince him somehow. With something interesting...  We usually keep the TV off during dinner time, so that was out of question.  Even the promise of super-boy stickers didn't work..  And that's when I got this Brahmastra ( all powerful  :) idea ! I told my son " If you come for dinner within the count of 3, I will tell you a story about a dinosaur and the magic carpet. If you come after that, I will tell you a story about tomatoes and potatoes " :D He appeared in a flash, and to make sure I could see it , he said " Appa, please start the story of the dinosaur and the magic carpet "  My thanks to tomatoes and potatoes for their dull story potential.

 One of the challenges we have been facing is getting our son to be cooperative, especially when we are in a hurry. Invariably, we sometimes get to the point where we end up telling up " You have to do this right now, or else...".  We don't like using this approach, but when we are stressed, and the child turns rebellious, I'm sure most parents end up getting into this mode.  I finally have found great solution for this, which has been working quite well this past week.  It is this wonderful book called "1800+ Reward Stickers - Ideal For Teachers And Parents". The book is filled with small stickers which say things like 'Awesome' , 'Excellent', 'Great job', 'Fantastic'.. It has some star stickers, some of animals etc. The sort that would appeal to any kid.  So now, when we want him to do something, but he's not in the mood to cooperate, we try to tell him 'Do this like a superboy, and you will get a superboy sticker on...

 When our son turned about 3, we got him a real bicycle with support wheels. After about 6 months, my wife felt it was time for us to remove the support wheels  and that it was time to teach him "proper' cycling :) I felt it was a bit too early, but my wife was confident.  So,, she took off the support wheels, and took him out to cycle every evening. This was also the time I no longer had work from home, and I was flooded with work. After about a week of trying to teach my son to cycle, my wife came back to me and said " It's only the men who are teaching the kids to cycle. Women can't handle this. So, you teach him ' ;p  So, I started. The trouble was figuring out where to hold the cycle while he pedalled the bicycle. I tried holding the handlebars for a while, but quickly realized it was too intrusive. Pretty much the only other option was holding the backseat. Now, this required me to bend down a lot, and I was struggling with backpain in about 10 minutes....

 I had been waiting to teach my son to play the keyboard. Until he was about 3, it was almost impossible - his fingers were too small, and his attention span even smaller :) He was almost always in a playful mood.  But once he turned about 3 and half, I thought it was time to try giving it a shot. I started teaching my son on my 'big' keyboard, as that was the only one we had at home then. He was moderately enthusiastic, but seemed more interested in turning all the knobs and buttons on the keyboard than he was in learning to play. This was frustrating for me - I wanted him to play a song himself ; not press the buttons that played pre-recorded songs on the keyboard.  But all this changed because of something unexpected. My wife's nephew had recently outgrown his small keyboard, and had given it to my wife for our son to use. My son was thrilled to have his own keyboard. He said to me, with pride ' Appa, you are big, and you have a big keyboard. I am small and I have a ...

 Did the title catch your attention ?   It did catch mine. I clicked on the article. Almost, that is .  Until it dawned upon me that no one becomes a billionaire without obsessing about money. Surely, anyone who has obsessed about money to that degree, has severely neglected many other parts of their lives, likely, including parenting.  I don't need any parenting advice from a billionaire. Thank you.  The next door 'regular' family with well-mannered, well-adjusted, resilient kids will have more to teach me about parenting than a billionaire ever will. 

 Words have amazing power. Yes, that is a cliche. But sometimes, we realize it when someone else points it out to us. I was recently working with a coach, and after listening to me for a while, he said " Karthik, I had asked you about what you want, and instead you told me about quite a few things that you don't want. "   Now, the idea of focussing on what we want and not what we don't want , isn't new to me, but I wasn't aware of this tendency of mine.  But now, that I became of it, I could see a lot more clearly that there are a million applications for it in the context of parenting ( and all relationships ) .  Instead of saying "Don't yell", I now try to say "Speak softly" Instead of saying "Don't spill the food", I now try to say "Pay attention to your plate while eating".  My 4 year old becomes 'defensive', when we verbalize what we don't want. Both my wife and me are trying to change our langua...

 Until a few months ago, whenever my son would ask to watch 'Tom and Jerry' during dinner, I would always reply with ' Tom and Jerry have also gone to have dinner. So they can't come on TV ' .And it always worked. That is until last week :)  This time, when I gave him the same explanation, he replied with ' Appa, no joking ' :D